imaginepageant (imaginepageant) wrote,

Penner Legacy 5:3

LAST TIME: The generation five kids were a bunch of hoodlums. Leo was kicked out of the heir pool for being a clone, and boring. Georgia got a boyfriend at prom who turned out to be her second cousin, and was betrothed to redheaded Marley Johnston. Claude and Jackson hated each other, while Vincent refused to be parted with his precious wrench.

I sent Claude to the art gallery in hopes of finding him some rich women to woo. Surprisingly, he didn't find any hanging out in the hedges at the side of the building.

So then we went to the rich part of Twinbrook and started knocking on the doors of random mansions. This one looked promising...

But Claude was called away for his graduation before he could introduce himself to the rich housewife. Stupid graduation, never did nothing for no one.

Vincent decided he didn't need to graduate, and spent the afternoon grilling hot dogs at the beach instead. What a rebel.

After graduation, Claude resumed his hunt for rich bitches.

Claude: You wouldn't happen to have a sister... or, uh, a wife I could speak with, would you?

Rich Guy: A wife? No, not a wife...

Rich Guy's Boyfriend: Honey, I'm hooooooome!

Foiled again.

Meanwhile, I sent Georgia and Marley on a date downtown. When I checked in on them, Georgia was wearing a wedding gown. Subtlety? What's that?

What? The stuffed turkey your husband is making isn't good enough for you?

This cracked me up way more than it probably should have.

Georgia: ♫ From this momeeeeeeent, life has begun! From this momeeeeeeent, you are the one! Right beside yoooooooooou is where I belOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG... from thiiiiiis, momeeeeeeent, onnnnnnnnnn! ♫

Marley: I'm totally marrying you.

Georgia: Heh heh heh.

Marley proceeded to go into Georgia's room and turn the radio on. To the kids' station. Okay.

Then he went to Troy's studio and did the same thing. So I turned off the stereo in Georgia's bedroom.

But Marley wasn't having any of that! I've come to learn that when Marley is over, every radio in the house must be on and tuned to the kids' station. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Even if it means waking his exhausted girlfriend. KID'S MUSIC IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN HER NEEDS.

Claude: Hello, rich guy? Yeah, hi. I was wondering if you could introduce me to that hot rich chick I saw in your house the other day.

Claude: Oh, that's your wife? ...Yeah, I'm still going to need to meet her.

If you're wondering what Vincent is up to: this. I doubt any woman could come between him and his beloved wrench.

Jackson, meanwhile, is on his own wife-hunt. (Oh hey Michael.)

Jackson: You've got red hair! Those are just the genes I'm looking for!

Redhead: Uh, thanks?

Not-Redhead: Look at me look at me look at me.

Jackson: We should totally have coffee together sometime.

Redhead: Uh, sure, I guess.

Not-Redhead: I'd have coffee with you! Pick meeeee!

Hang on. Are those wrinkles I see? She's out. Not to be ageist, but she could go into menopause tomorrow, and I need someone of fertile, childbearing years. Like the not-redhead.

Jackson: You don't have red hair, but you're young! How about we get coffee sometime?

Not-Redhead: OMG YES!

Claude... I'm pretty sure the woman who cleans pretends to clean your house for a living isn't rich.

You know, that's exactly what I'd expect Georgia to do on a trip to the past.

The next day, Vincent gets forced into graduation. Look, Vincent! A cute (albeit not-redheaded) girl! Go talk to her!

Vincent: Do I have to?

Cute Girl: Wow, we finally graduated! So what are you going to do, now?

Vincent: Well, I've been crafting a glue-like potion that will permanently fuse metal to skin, so that I can become one with my wrench. I love my wrench. Do you like wrenches?

Cute Girl: Oh look at the time, I've got to go to work! Call me!

Vincent: But you didn't give me your number.

Cute Girl: KBYE.

Later that night, Jacques tells a ghost story. Yes, Jacques, the guy who passes out every time he sees his mother-in-law's ghost. I don't get it, either.


Vincent: ...Seriously?

Speaking of ghosts, I don't know why, but Courtney does not like Georgia. Poor Georgia.

Claude: Single twenty-something male seeks female with large bank account. Family history of fatal diseases an asset.

Okay, Claude officially creeps me out.

Georgia: Oh, calm down, Claude. The human body in its natural state, unfettered by the oppressive clothes society forces us to wear, is beautiful! Don't hide from it, appreciate it for what it is!

Claude: I don't care that you're naked! But LOOK AT THE TUB! IT'S FILTHY! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I CAN'T TAKE IT!

Troy got an opportunity to paint something to hang in the lobby of an office building. Something classy, they said.

And nothing says class like a social bunny!

Look Vincent! It's that cute girl from before! Talk to her!

Vincent: Do I haaaaaaaaaaaave to?

Cute Girl: Yeah, does he have to?

Claude: So, what's your favorite book? And approximately how much money do you net annually?

Tacky Pattern Woman: Like omg, I LOOOOOOOOOVE Twilight! Edward is MY LIFE. And um, I guess, like, a hundred dollars or something? I don't know, I get five dollars allowance every week. What's five dollars a week times a year? I like, failed math last semester or something.

Claude: Oh shit. She's a teenager.

Tacky Pattern Woman Teenager: Heeeee, you're like, dreamy. Your hair reminds me of Edward's. Edward is MY LIFE.

So he went and hit on the girl's mother instead. Good job, Claude.

Back at home, the dishwasher has broken.

But it's okay. Troy knows how to fix it.

Jackson kept rolling wants to get a tattoo, so I indulged him.

Tattooist: Relax, I know what I'm doing!

Jackson: Then why are you pointing it at my arm when I asked for a tattoo on my back?


For someone who's supposed to be a slob, Jackson is awfully concerned with his looks.

Out of nowhere, everyone in the house was good friends with four people I'd never seen or heard of before, including this hot redheaded chick. HOW CONVENIENT. The moment she met up with Claude, she started air-boxing. I liked her immediately.

Claude: All I want to do is settle down with a woman and start a family. And buy a mansion in the hills and a summer home down south and possibly also a private jet. Is that so much to ask?

Hot Redheaded Chick: Not at all! That's exactly what I want, too! Well, except maybe for the summer home and private jet. I could never afford anything that extravagant on my wages.

Claude: Really. Huh. Listen, maybe I should introduce you to my brothers.

When she came over later that night, I realized she was Georgia's long lost twin. I guess she has the same face template as Jacques.

But no matter, because with an overwhelming majority of the votes, Georgia is heir!


I was shocked to see how unpopular Claude was in the heir poll. At this point he'd only had three votes, and one of them was mine. Poor Claude. I'll miss you, even if nobody else does!

Vincent: Bye Dad! We're off to Spare Street! Have a nice life!

Jacques: Wait, what?

Yeah girl.

Georgia: Hey, Marley? Guess who just got a double bed!

I've just noticed that Marley wears red Chucks with blue pants. I officially love Marley.

Squee. Sorry. They're just so cute together.

Cherry: popped!

Immediately after, Georgia rolls this want. She's going to be the most awesome wife ever.

The most awkward way to meet your girlfriend's father: this is it.

Jacques left the room laughing. Sometimes I really love Jacques.

Marley: Your house is beautiful!

Georgia: Aww, thanks!

Marley: But something has to be done about all these dirty dishes if I'm going to live here.

Georgia: Yeah, they've been piling up ever since Vincent moved out. You could wash them!

Marley: ...

Five minutes later, he grabbed another bowl of whatever that is and sat back down to eat with Troy. Marley's a bit of a pig.

It is a constant battle, Marley turning on the radios, me turning them off, him turning them on again. The man is persistent, I'll give him that.

While Marley dances to the musical stylings of Raffi, Georgia is across the hall with morning sickness. After one WooHoo. HEAR THAT, TROY? ONE.

Georgia: I got you flowers!

Marley: Wow, they're beautiful! Thank you, honey!

Marley: Uh, honey?

Georgia: Derp.

Thirty minutes later:

Georgia: Derp.

Two hours later:

Georgia: Derp.



Georgia: Guess what! I'm pregnant!

Marley: Kill me now.


He got out of there so damned fast he didn't even bother putting pants on.

Oh, Troy.

Troy: I'm middle-aged and what do I have to show for myself? A bunch of sculptures of TOILETS! AND SINKS! WHAT IS MY LIFE? BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW

Jacques: Women.

Georgia's first post-pop want was to harvest a wild plant, and I can see why. This is pretty much Georgia's perfect day: outside in the fresh air, under the blue sky, surrounded by flowers and vegetables. My little hippie.

Then she wanted to go to the spa. Her old cousin-boyfriend, Cooper, stalked it for about an hour. I guess he's still not over her.

Georgia: Marley, will you marr—

Marley: Oh hang on, my contact's slipping out.

I just noticed how romantic this setting is with the public bathrooms right behind them. Nothing's too good for my Sims.

Back at home, Georgia grooves to the radio, but not the kids' station. Don't tell Marley.

I'm no expert, but I don't think busting that kind of move is good for the baby.

Sure enough, an hour later...

Georgia: OH MY WATER JUST BROKE! Oh look, right on the grape vines. I love multitasking.